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This is in no way meant to be a “look-at-what-a-great-wife-I-am-and-how-much-I-do-for-my-husband” post, but rather a, “the-Lord-totally-convicted-me-on-so-many-levels-and-is-trying-to-rid-me-of-my-selfish-ways” type post.
“My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi.”
Song of Songs 1:14
For the last few months, Wednesdays and Sundays are my two days off, but really, I just count Wednesdays because our Sundays are usually jam-packed. At first, I thought it would bother me to not have two days off in a row, but to tell you the truth, I actually kind of enjoy a day off in the middle of the week. When I first started having Wednesdays off, I had big dreams of days spent at home, in my pajamas, enjoying a cup of coffee on the couch, working on crafty projects and blogging.
God had a different plan for my days off.
Wednesday’s are one of the few days I can actually serve my husband the way I feel he deserves to be served.
I will be the first to admit that Ian’s job is 100x more stressful than mine. He is constantly working on projects to meet deadlines, and going in early or staying late to make sure things are completed on time.
I, on the other hand, work retail 6 hours a day.
If you know me, you know that I have a really hard time telling people no. 9 times out of 10, if someone asks a favor of me, I will say yes. The first few weeks, I was meeting with friends, job shadowing my dad, and running errands galore on my day off, all while listening to | this | series, which Ian and I had listened to when we were engaged.
During the | second sermon | it hit me.
Ian needs an oasis.
An En Gedi.
Mark Driscoll describes En Gedi as a desert oasis in the middle of a dry land, complete with fresh water, trees, fruit, and life.
He goes on to say that most men feel like their life is desert, and desire to come home to En Gedi at the end of a long day.
A place of rest, refreshment, and rejuvination.
So Wednesdays have become my day to make our home En Gedi for Ian.
| a clean house | dinner on the table | dessert in the oven | laundry done | bed made |
| dog walked & (hopefully!) tired | out of my pajamas and in actual clothes |
| no complaints or nagging the minute he walks in the door | dishes done |
| crafts + computer put away |
I could go on and on with what I wish my list looked like every Wednesday, but it usually involves most of the things listed above, and hopefully a few more.
It’s the least I can do.
I have a husband who serves me by going to work every single day without complaining.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ian groan about not wanting to go to work. Or about how terrible his day was. Or about how he wishes he had a different job. He works and he works hard to provide for our family, for which I am incredibly grateful.
To do the things listed above is a joy for me, and one of the few ways I can bless him in return for all of his hard work.
As wives, it’s what God has called us to do. I realize that to some, it may sound chauvinistic, but as a family, it’s what Ian and I have chosen. Submission is an attitude, not just an action, and begins in the heart.
And so Wednesday’s have become my day to make En Gedi a reality for Ian in our little home.
A day to offer him a place of refuge, relaxation, and rest. A place he is excited to come home to because he can count on it being free from nagging and complaints. A home where he feels served and blessed.
I’ll admit that some days are easier than others to create this En Gedi. But as I continue to seek Christ and allow Him to love me, that love spills over to those around me, especially Ian.
Wives, I encourage you to ask your husband what En Gedi looks like for him, and do your best to make those wishes a reality, even if only a little at a time.
I’m fully aware that once we have kids, this picture of what En Gedi looks like will change completely, and, depending on where you are in your marriage, his needs and desires will differ. But for now, I’m doing my best to make Wednesdays less about me and more about Ian, and the joy that comes from blessing him is incredible.
If you haven’t already listened to the Peasant Princess series, add it to your list of things to do. I promise it will be worth your while.
As a side note, I don’t consider my | craft room | part of Ian’s En Gedi, mostly because 90% of the time it looks like a mess, and I can just shut the door to hide my clutter.
Take this for example:
Last night I was working on making | this | and in an attempt to change the tension on my bobbin lost the teeny tiny screw that goes in the front. Let’s just say that sewing and 11 PM don’t go hand-in-hand around our house and my sewing projects have taken a hiatus until that little screw magically reappears.
Anyways, totally off subject and now I’m truly off to work on En Gedi.